When Sally Swims Poorly

This is a good read, as I think seeing the big picture (as I have said many times) is important, especially with our 9-year-old swimmers who still have a year of competition as a 10 & under. It discusses the best way to handle your swimmer when they are upset about a race – and as a parent it can be hard to see this disappointment. The time is not always the ultimate goal in one race; it is the little things they do that are setting themselves up for success for the future. Things that make the future coaches excited to have them, like the swimmers that do 3-5 streamline dolphin kicks off of every wall – I saw more of that this past weekend than I have seen all year from this group – as well as long pull outs. One swimmer finally slowed down his pull out, and in a 50 race actually popped up to take his first stroke right next to the front of the pack that had already taken several strokes. Was it a little too long, on the turn no, just was a little tired – but will those pullouts help them in the 100 breast and eventually the 200 breast when 50’s are no longer an event of choice – yes!

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When Sally Swims Poorly…




How Mom and Dad Might Talk To Their Child at a Swim Meet






Swim Meet conversation between parent and athlete can be either highly productive, or highly counter-productive. Your goal as a parent, should be to contribute to a positive swim meet experience for your child. This is the same goal as shared by the coach and the athlete. It is important that all three sides of the triangle be working together on meet days, as well as the rest of the swim year.




As I travel the country talking to parents, and observing swim meets and the effects of individual athletes, a few things stand out for comment. The inter-relationship of athlete, coach and parent on the days of swim meets is one of the most important. To discuss this adequately, it is necessary to define the role of each person.




The athlete attends the meet to attempt to gain, or affirm some progress that has been made in their development. This may take the form of a personal best time, or holding a stroke technique together for an entire race, or executing accurately a particular strategy for "splitting" the race, or any of a multitude of other possibilities and combinations. The role of the athlete is the active one. It is up to them to perform, and the meet day is a selected time to perform the experiment.




The role of the coach on meet day needs to be thoroughly understood. It is dependent upon how the coach has presented themselves in the athlete's swimming career. Primarily, for most coaches, they are the technical resource that a swimmer depends upon to help them improve. They also serve as a role model, and to a greater or lesser extent, as a motivator, friend, and co-author of the strategy or experiment being performed on that day.




The parent is the racing "support crew". The parent makes sure they have all their human needs attended to, and continues their parental function of supervising personal development. Their love, attention, and caring are key ingredients in creating a successful experience on race day.




Athlete, technical support, and human support. That's all it takes.




Now, back to the question of meet conversation. Lots of talk goes on at a meet, and coming and going around the meet. Let's focus on the conversations that go on around a particular swim, and see what can be learned from that item.




Sally Smith is eleven years old, and she is about to swim the 100 yard freestyle. Sally is a pretty good little swimmer, and has a best time of 1:01.3. She'd like to go a personal best time in this event at the Oskosh By Gosh Meet, and she and her coach, Rita Bobeeta, have been talking all week about how Sally has to concentrate on keeping her stroke long and strong during the last 25 yards of her race.




Now, the race has been seeded in the bullpen (interesting name, huh?) and the swimmers have been released until they swim. Sally knows she is supposed to stop and talk to Rita before she swims. She goes over to see her.




"Hey Kiddo, ready for the big swim?"




"Rita, I got it all under control, and I'm ready to go fast."




"What do you need to remember on this swim?"




"To keep my stroke long on the last twenty-five."




"Not just long, but...."




"long and Strong!"




"Right! Have a real good swim now. Go get it!"




Sally blasts off, and gets out in front immediately. Mom and Dad cheer like crazy. Sally turns for home, and......




(Now, at this point let's consider two endings. We will take a look at each one.)




Sally turns for home and...... shortens her stroke bit by bit as she gets more and more tired, and struggles to the wall, with a time of 1:01.5.




Sally is disappointed, and she goes back to Rita choking back tears, and stands there, waiting for Rita to speak.




"Well, not quite what we wanted. How did it feel?"




"It felt awful! I was terrible! I couldn't do anything!"




"From here, it looked like you were only pushing through to your waist, and towards the end of the race maybe not even that far. Where should your hand finish?"




"At my suitline."



"And what did your arms really feel like?"





"I got all hot and my arms were burning at the end of the race."




"Do you know why that is? I think you haven't had enough good fast pace work yet. Next month, we'll work on that, and by the Billibong Open, you'll be much better!"




Sally leaves Rita happy and feeling much less like the Ugly Duckling. Now, she heads to see Mom and Dad.




Most parents I talk to, think that this is a tough time to deal with their children. It isn't! (The tough one is next.) All Mom and Dad have to do in this case, is two simple things:




First, deal with human things.




"Are you warm enough, honey?"




"Put on your warmups, and your towel"




"Do you need something to drink?"




Then, if all is well, STOP. Do not get into the race unless the child wants to. That is not your role. You are there to support.




But lets say that Sally comes back and says....



"I Stunk!"





Mom and Dad say, "Stunk? Stunk means you smelled badly. All that chlorine is kind of nasty, but I wouldn't say you stunk. What do you really mean?"




After Sally has a chance to get rid of her emotional response, you should ask, "What did Coach Bobeeta say?"




Now is a good time to explore this. What you are trying to do, as a parent, is duplicate the same mind-set the coach is trying to re-instill. Analyze what went wrong with the experiment. You don't have the technical expertise to offer the answers that Coach Rita does, but by asking questions that require a technical response, you shift Sally out of the emotional context. This is nothing more than an experiment that did not turn out the way you wanted it to. This is perfect swim parenting. You reinforce the message that the coach is sending.




If you will simply take care of the human needs, and shift the emotional disappointment to an analytical response, all will be well in Sally's world.